All I Can Wonder is, “Has Ron Jeremy Signed His Donor Card?”

USA TODAY: U.S. vet receives first total penis, scrotum transplant

https://usat.ly/2vDM2Nt

I’ll Ask. Walmarts in Alabama Sell Vegetables?

20-mile chase of meth suspect ends in Walmart produce section; passenger found passed out in truck | AL.com

I thought they just sold guns and liquor.

Those PTA Bake Sales are Getting Serious

Cops Shoot Woman After Bizarre Crime Spree Involving PTA Meeting Attack, Home Break-in: Police, Sources | NBC New York

And You Thought Your Co-workers Gave You a Headache…

From the AP:
Man in work dispute ends up with pliers lodged in his skull.

This Student’s Day Isn’t Going to Get Any Worse

That’s a fail: Teen on driving test crashes through examination station in Buffalo.

Who in the Hell Would Steal This???

National parks in Arizona using microchip tech to deter thieves

So, apparently this is a thing:

Saguaros, an enduring symbol of the Southwest, can grow to more than 40 feet tall, weigh up to a ton and live 200 years.

You can hear the thieves making off with their ill-gotten gain in the night. They’re the ones going, “Owowowowow!!!”