Today’s top story:
Former President Trump is still saying he won the 2020 election. Not only that, he now claims he’s won more Grammys than Beyonce.
in other news:
After President Biden’s dog Major nipped at a stranger recently, the dog is back in Delaware for some remedial training. When asked about it, Biden said he’s not going to whack the dog on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. He’s saving that for Mitch McConnell.
Millions of Americans are finding those stimulus payments of $1,400 per person deposited in their bank accounts this week. This means we’ll have a staggering betting pool for this year’s College Men’s Basketball Tournament.
Finally, today is St Patrick’s Day when Americans celebrate the man who drove the snakes from Ireland by driving their livers into the ground.
This morning two things happened:
- My stimulus payment arrived in my checking account
- The check engine light on my car came on
So I guess it’s a stimulus payment for my car guy.
With the confirmation hearing for Coney Barrett, the GOP has tried to claim the Democrats are making an issue of her Catholic faith.
But the Democrats have nominated Catholics to run for President: Al Smith, JFK, John Kerry, and Biden.
Of course, the GOP has nominated Catholics for the White House, too. Like… Um…
Well maybe they can pick one for 2024.
National parks in Arizona using microchip tech to deter thieves
So, apparently this is a thing:
Saguaros, an enduring symbol of the Southwest, can grow to more than 40 feet tall, weigh up to a ton and live 200 years.
You can hear the thieves making off with their ill-gotten gain in the night. They’re the ones going, “Owowowowow!!!”
It’s not enough that Pokemon Go is convincing kids to go outside and exercise, 0r that players are causing accidents and injuries. It’s worse than that.
Pokemon Go is teaching players the Metric System.
UPDATE: I almost forgot to mention players finding Pokémon in the Holocaust Museum!
If I ever buy a yacht, I’m going to name it Boyancé.