Trump’s Legal Troubles: A Quiz

The big news is the potential combination of lawsuits and criminal charges that Donald Trump could soon face. So let’s see how well you’re keeping up with everything with a quick quiz.

Question 1

Trump could get indicted for the payoffs to Stormy Daniels, the pressure he tried to put on Georgia to change the election outcome, his involvement in January Sixth, and the classified documents at Mar-a-Lago. The chance of multiple indictments at the same time would mean:

  • His legal team would be overloaded handling simultaneous cases
  • Trump’s campaign could get bogged down in bad news
  • If Trump collects four indictments, he wins a free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut

question 2

The grand jury in Georgia is looking at Trump’s “perfect” phone call to Georgia officials demanding they “find” 11,000 votes to put the state in Trump’s win column. Trump said they could find those votes:

  • by looking for dead voters
  • by examining voting machines to see if they altered the results
  • in the couch cushions — you can find a lot of things in couch cushions

question 3

Former Vice President and 2024 presidential candidate Mike Pence is trying to avoid testifying before the January 6 grand jury. Pence wants to skip testifying because:

  • As President of the Senate, he’s covered by the Constitution’s Speech and Debate clause
  • He doesn’t want to upset the MAGA base that he’ll need to get the nomination
  • He REALLY wants to turn to Trump during a debate and say, “Remember that time you tried to get me killed? Good times. Good times.”

Letters From The Battle of LaGuardia (1776)


I found a copy of a letter from my Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather, Jedidiah Smirk, who served in the Revolutionary War under General Washington.

My dearest Martha,

The war has been especially difficult so far. The Redcoats fight fiercely, but General Washington is a clever man, and we’ve eluded capture by General Howe, even as the British secured a foothold in Brooklyn.

Yesterday our men were able to capture LaGuardia. It was a terrible battle, but the redcoats were hindered. Because of delays at TSA checkpoints, the British were unable to bring in reserves as we broke the main redcoat line near baggage claim in terminal “D.”

I’m sure this isn’t the last of it. Washington wants to hold the airport, but even if the British drive us off, the good general has a network of spies from among the Hare Krishnas who populate the main concourse.

Kiss the children for me.

Your loving husband,



After talking about capturing airports, he refers to the rockets red glare at Fort McHenry and the Star Spangled Banner.

Sorry, but that was the War of 1812.


So the speechwriter is off the hook…

Meet Our New National Security Advisior

From Reason:

A year before the United States would go to war with Iraq due (at least in part) to falsely believing that Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction, Bolton was advocating that the United States should go to war with Cuba because of later debunked reports that Fidel Castro was developing weapons of mass destruction.

He’s going to be a stabilizing influence on Trump…

But Putin Said The Russians Didn’t Do It

Government knows DNC hacker was Russian intel officer: report

Yes, they figured out Guccifer 2.0 was with Russian intelligence:

The Daily Beast reports that U.S. investigators identified the hacker as a Moscow-based Russian intelligence operative after the hacker failed to activate a virtual private networking (VPN) service meant to obscure the operative’s location before logging on.

The result was the operative’s Moscow IP address being caught in the logs of a U.S. social media company, allowing U.S. investigators to track the individual.

Guccifer 2.0 also screwed up when they discovered his password was “Password1234.”

Can You Blame Him?

Steve Bannon says he’s ready to take on every GOP Incumbent in 2018, with one exception:

“There’s a coalition coming together that’s going to challenge every Republican incumbent instead of Ted Cruz,”

I wouldn’t want to mess with the Zodiac Killer, either.