Who in the Hell Would Steal This???

National parks in Arizona using microchip tech to deter thieves

So, apparently this is a thing:

Saguaros, an enduring symbol of the Southwest, can grow to more than 40 feet tall, weigh up to a ton and live 200 years.

You can hear the thieves making off with their ill-gotten gain in the night. They’re the ones going, “Owowowowow!!!”