Could the High Price of Lumber be the Work of… SATAN???

That could be the only logical reason that someone tried to perform an exorcism on the 2 by 4s at a Pennsylvania Home Depot.

How Hard Can He Be to Find?

From Oregonlive.com:

FBI seeks man with ‘dork’ tattoo on throat

Amazingly, not from Florida…

And You Thought Your Co-workers Gave You a Headache…

From the AP:
Man in work dispute ends up with pliers lodged in his skull.

Who in the Hell Would Steal This???

National parks in Arizona using microchip tech to deter thieves

So, apparently this is a thing:

Saguaros, an enduring symbol of the Southwest, can grow to more than 40 feet tall, weigh up to a ton and live 200 years.

You can hear the thieves making off with their ill-gotten gain in the night. They’re the ones going, “Owowowowow!!!”

Roy Moore Thinks Evolution is Fake

This is no surprise.

“There is no such thing as evolution,” he recently told a Washington Post reporter. “That we came from a snake? No, I don’t believe that.”

If Moore gets elected (for Pete’s sake, it’s Alabama) science class will go like this:

FULL LIST: School Delays and Cancellations

Fog school closings and delays west of Toledo.