“If it works for the pope, it’ll work for me”
Today, Donald Trump began offering indulgences to purchasers of $TRUMP cryptocurrency. Those who purchase this cryptocurrency will be guaranteed a pardon for federal criminal acts committed while Trump is in office.
“My lawyers say I can pardon whoever I want,” Trump explained. “Since I’m pardoning my supporters like the Chrisleys, why not make pardons into a sound business?”
Democrats point out that this is tantamount to bribery and note that in the 16th century, it led to Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation.
Trump responded to the accusation: “I didn’t know Martin Luther King cared about this.”
Will Smirk for Food 