Boy it’s been a long time since I posted…
Kristi noem gets her purse snatched
Department of Homeland Security Head Kristi Noem had her purse stolen while eating out with her family on Sunday. The purse contained $3,000 in cash. In related news, ICE just sent a purse with $3,000 cash to El Salvador.
Pete hegseth loves himself some signal
There were calls to fire Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth after he had discussed military operations on a Signal chat again, which this time included his wife. Nobody realized that Mrs. Hegseth was on the chat until she mentioned that her mother was coming to visit.
Rome gets to pick a new pope
With the passing of Pope Francis, the Vatican must prepare to choose his successor. Soon, Cardinals will be locked in a room until they decide who will lead the Roman Catholic Church. Once the selection process begins, there will be prayers and speeches, preliminary votes, and a contest to see who can eat the most Eucharist.
(By the way, you can rent Conclave for $5.99 now on Amazon Prime.)
Will Smirk for Food 