Details here.
And now, the obvious punchline.
Scientists at the American Museum of Natural History in New York have named a new species of leech after Amy Tan, bestselling author of such novels as The Joy Luck Club and The Bonesetter’s Daughter.
That’s the story. It’s a tiny blood-sucking leech from Australia. So why isn’t it named after Rupert Murdoch?
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Physicists in the Mail Room
I was coming back from lunch when a mail clerk came by with a package. A friend called out to him, and this is how the actual conversation went…
“Hey, Bill. What do you have in the box?”
“I think it’s a cat.”
“Is it alive or dead?”
“I don’t know.”
So, apparently, Schrodinger works in our mail room…
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Some Bravery at the Grocery.
This evening, my wife told me the Grocery store was handing out samples of “Devil’s Cheese.”
I Immediately asked, “Who has the cajones to milk Satan?”
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Looking for Decent People with Democratic Senators (Help, Please)
The Obvious Reason Why All These Rockers Are Passing Away
Let’s look at the deaths from 28 December until 18 January:
Lemmy Kilmister, Motorhead, Bass and Vocals
David Bowie, Solo Artist, Keyboards and Vocals
Glen Frey, Eagles, Guitar and Vocals
Dale Griffin, Mott the Hoople, Drums
Mic Gillette, Tower of Power, Horns
Isn’t it obvious? God has a new girlfriend that sings!!!
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New York: All the Latest Conveniences. Like Masturbation Booths
It could have been a new AT&T campaign, called, “Reach Out and Touch Yourself.”
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And now I’ve learned something new today.
“Lust for Life” was written on a Ukulele…
No, really:
Mr. Pop and Mr. Bowie, seated on the floor — they had decided chairs were not natural — were waiting for the Armed Forces Network telecast of “Starsky & Hutch.” The network started shows with a call signal that, Mr. Pop said, went “beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep,” the rhythm, which is also like a Motown beat, that was the foundation for “Lust for Life.” Mr. Pop recalled, “He wrote the [chord] progression on ukulele, and he said, ‘Call it “Lust for Life,” write something up.’”
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Sometimes a Headline Seems Too Good to be True.
Salem Witch Trials Execution Site Found, And It’s Behind A Walgreens.
UPDATE: Best comment on the story:
Now I know where all the cool kids will hang out on Halloween.
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Again, I weep for my nation…
I pray this sign is a satire.
If it’s real, I wonder if Obama will make us cross dress.
Will Smirk for Food 